Not that anyone is actually reading this or anything, but I've decided to postpone this cause I'm not interested in writing it anymore. especially seeing how many other people are writing Werewolf fanfics on Wattpad.

http://wattpad.com/figgyfan

Find me there and maybe look at my other stuff that I plan on continuing but haven't found the motivation to doing yet.

Well, that being said, I'm turning this into another tumblr like thing. I'm going to talk about all the things I don't want anyone to read because I want to say it all and no one read this.

perfect solution, right?  I did the same thing on Tumblr but then I realized some friends are following me there so that won't work. Some might be following me on here, but I don't think they check it SO

here's that tumblr post.

It's long, just a warning.

I really don’t understand myself.

I know I need to write my stories (need is probably to strong of a word. Let’s try should…nah, that still sounds too demanding. How about ‘would like to’ yeah, much better.) I know I would like to write my stories. I have all the time, I have plenty of idea’s but even when I open up the page I refuse to type it. When I have a black piece of paper and a pen/pencil writing utensil, I purposely don’t do it. 

I hate it but I do it anyway because I’m so use to putting things off that even the things I enjoy get put off in favor of less taxing things. I’ll stare at the computer for hour refreshing pages and not talking or rolplaying or reading instead of doing something like writing or homework or something else that I know I can do and actually want to do…

I piss myself off.

Why the hell am I so indecisive  Why the hell do I want people to baby me all the time and why in the FUCK do I get depressed when they do the opposite cause I’m being annoying on purpose? Why don’t I want to stop? Why do I keep putting things off, hoping that a miracle will happen like in books and movies. I want to have a chance encounter with someone that changes my life, I want to get close to someone and yet I’m so embarrassed and self conscious that I block them all out. then I’m angry when no one feels the need to push me and force me to tell them my troubles or cry on there shoulder (metaphorically.) I know I don’t want to do it so It’s kinda hypocritical of me to want others to do it for me.  

I don’t want someone to be nice. I want someone to tell me how it is, to assume command and be RIGHT bout it. I want someone to stay with me of there own choice and never get tired of me when I act the way I want because they just care that much, but I don’t trust anyone enough to do try it. I don’t wanna leave my comfort zone.

I’m so pathetic.

this all escalated very quickly. I went form complaining about not writing (kinda ironic because I ended up writing this blog thinger that no one is gonna see.) to complaining about everything that’s on my mind.

I don’t understand myself, and Yet I do. More than most teens should understand themselves. People should go around searching for it and discovering who they are, but I already know because I’ve sat here all alone for so long with no one else but me to think about and distract myself with.

Most of that comfort zone busness. I want someone to force me out of it because I’m a wimp who doesn’t wanna do it myself. I want to be a different person completely. this is probably making no sense and that’s alright because I’m here in my own little tumbler world and no one is following me or caring about this in any way shape or form. I can complain without worrying that I’m being petty and needy and pathetic and having my immage ruined because I care about it way more than I should even though the image I present isn’t the image I think I present. Especially the real life one.

I honestly don’t think that my body matches my personality. I want to be smaller and more fit with nice skin and an easy smile so I don’t feel like a freaking mammoth surrounded by moths. I’m freaking HUGE compaired to everyone else around me. I know it’s not like this everywhere but the place where I’m stuck at, mostly cause I’m to much of a wuss to complain and get somethings from my parents cause of the freeloatihonafkdsjnadj

fuck life.

anyway, everyone is either 

a.) a white male

b.) white, short and fat

c.) white, short and skinny

d.) white, tall and skinny

How the hell am I supposed to fit in here!? I know I don’t really look all that different if you take my hair out of the picture but still. I can’t hep but notice how you have to be tiny and delicate looking to get a boyfriend who is attractive and not wimpy and a pushover. You also have to be able to put yourself out there and I have no problem doing that when people i don’t know are around because I don’t have to worry about them mentioning it and not knowing how to act because FUCK EVERYTHING

meh.

I don’t want too make sense. I feel very inadequate. 

All the time.

I don’t feel like I’m allowed to have a personality (and here’s an excuse) because of the people around me.

I don’t want to me talked about by my mother to everyone else she’s ever met whether she likes them or not. I don’t want my classmates to think or know anything about me yet I want to be close to them. I am afraid of being judged and think that not having any distinguishable traits will keep tat from happening while at the same time I want to be judged and to come out looking better than everyone else. I don’t want to spend any time in the middle ground or even the low ground because that means that people will make fun and I don’t know how to handle that.

at all

cause i’m a wimp.

I AM PATHETIC.

I want to shout that. I want to be emotional and SHOW my emotions even though I don’t really understand what that means. I feel so much crap but I don’t know what face I should make. Life is not a manga. I can’t find someone who makes me make those expressions without thinking. I will not fall in love with anyone who loves me back because I don’t talk with anyone I like. I watch them from a distance, romanticize their personalities and make up stupid stories in my head because I’m pathetic and wimpy and insecure. 

I want to be around people who know how incredibly possessive I am of everything I feel belongs to me- that includes people. I want to be around people who know how much I actually love romance and dirty things because I’m a secret pervert who’d practically dying (being dramatic here) inside because I can’t find someone I care about who I can do those things with and not feel disgusting and fat and weird. I want to be pretty. I wanna try wearing dresses without people going “Oh hey, you look like a girl for once!” because I actually have feelings and that hurts. Just because i don’t squeal when A basketball flies at my head or I fall out of a tree and am bleeding doesn’t mean that I am not a girl. I’m just afraid to be a girl because I’ve rejected it for so long because I WAS SCARED. I don’t even want to write why here cause I want to pretend it didn’t happen. Sound dramatic and traumatizing but it’s nowhere near as bad as it sounds. it probably warped me a bit but it’s not like others haven’t been warped too. I’m actually not all that weird. I like odd things but I think everything through logically. I like things to be in order, if not neat. 

I want a lot of things. I want to be alone to exercise so i don’t feel fat and stupid and embarrassed cause I don’t know what kind of face to make then.

I want to talk to guys and just outright tell them “Hey, I think you are attractive. I think you’re funny. I like your smile. I thought you were cute a while ago actually but you and everyone else made fun of me so much that I was to insecure to change myself up and look pretty and try to get your attention. I want you to like me while I’m like this before I try to look good beside you and while I know that’s a lot to ask as I’m not all that pretty and that’s actually something important in a relationship I still hope that it will happen someday. I know you probably aren’t as nice as you seem. I bet you even have a girlfriend. Girls just don’t go confessing there love, or at least I don’t think they do. I don’t have any girl friends to ask this about who won’t start bugging me about things I don’t want to, and yet want to talk about. It’s confusing I know. In short, I want to know about you. Everything about you. I also want you to want to know about me. Everything about me. 

I know you wont’ though because you aren’t as nice as I have made you out to be in my head. you will probably go tell someone and joke about this later and I will be embarrassed and feel stupid and shy away from you and relationships even more because of it even though I know it’s not that important in the long run and you will forget and they will forget. That’s all.” 

but honestly, who would really do that? maybe on a day I’m feeling confident. On a day where I know I’ll never see him of his friends or anyone else who might here about it ever again.

well this turned into something odd.

I can’t think of anything else to talk about besides my boy problems. Goes to show that I’m actually a girl on the inside.

see? even I do it. But it doesn’t hurt when I do It so I feel like it’s alright even as my self confidence plummets to dangerous levels.

hey, wanna know what I think about?

Other than the perverted things that i’m to embarrassed to write or say aloud.

I’m been thinking about prom. I want to wear a nice dress with long sleeves that covers the scars on my shoulders from acne that I refused to stop picking. I made myself stop now because I want my skin to be nice and, after having a small taste of it recently have found myself actually trying to do it.

I don’t wanna wear a ball gown, or a dress with a jacket or a wrap or s trumpet or mermaid skirt thing. I want a simple yet classy thing in a green or blue color, maybe purple because even I know that they look much better on me than other colors. Pink would probably look good too.  A light pink but I don’t want people to think I’m too girly so I through that out. Brown wouldn’t look bad but wearing brown to prom isn’t a good idea. I don’t want to be though of weirdly. Stupid I know but I can’t help but thinking insecure thoughts like this.

I am too embarrassed to talk about this with my family cause I know my mother with find out and then talk about it with my family and it pisses me off and embarrasses me because she’s to freakin gossipy and I don’t like being talked about where I can hear.

I would ask my sister but either she would tell my mother or something else. Plus she has boyfriend troubles that I don’t understand because I don’t think I’d put up with leaches no matter how pretty they are. My other sister.I don’t see her often. It wouldn’t be a bad Idea to ask her but she doesn’t understand how I don’t want them to know and I don’t want to admit anything about being insecure to her because it would get out or I’d be thought of as weak. 

I don’t wanna be weak. Even if it’s only in her mind- not that that would happen cause i’m just over thinking this- but yep. 

I want to work out someplace where no one else is because I don’t think anyone will want me because of my slight muffin top. stupid but I can’t help where my brain takes me. I actually kind of like it. Weird, I know. Not all the time mind you, just when I’m thinking clearly.

Look at this dress I think would look good on me. Expensive  I know, but it’s just too nice.

Nice, right? even in brown. I’d probably get it in….hmm. I don’t know. what color would look good on me?

Dark Purple? would probably make me look a bit pale (almost wrote tit XD)

Light blue is too light. though I should go a bit girly since i tend to look like i’m in my 20’s when I dress up. Nice for some events but don’t wanna scare anyone away.

maybe a dark green…or a pale yellow color. In the end brown look real nice though

there is another one sorta like it in green though

then there’s this one. it looks good but I don’t know about the shininess. I don’t think I’d like it. Pessimistic of me, I know 

there is the problem of the back but if I keep on my skin care regimen then it shouldn’t be a problem.

this one is good too. and it doesn’t have the awkward back thing. probably have it in a blue of the same shade. maybe purple…though I like the green

I’m so old fasioned aren’t I XD (totally put a pun in there)

Looked! even more!

Ah, I will look like a lady in waiting or something XD

the hair is a problem too. I just got it cut and i’m not sure I like it. It’s short. It needed the trim, but it’s sooooo short. It takes forever to grow to with all those coils. I don’t want to have it up but down it’s too poofy and makes me seem like i’m towering over all the guys. I like them my hieght you know XD not that I have a date or will be getting one.

My neck tends to have scars on it as well < reason for not wanting it up but I cant’ help but think things like that are cute….on other girls…probably not so much on me. I don’t have the small face or big eyes or cheekbones to pull it off. I am also pale. that might not make sense to you (not that anyone is reading this) but to me it feels like it affects EVERYTHING fashion wise.

I’m not very fashionable though.

Not at all. Not horrid mind you, just not fashionable 

I feel so much better after ranting. I’mm also very tired. I shouldn't be cause I've only been up and moving for about six hours and I honestly haven’t been moving much, but I am. Probably cause I've been online and staring at the screen for so long.

eh. well. I have nothing left to say.

written yesterday

CHAPTER FOUR--ALTERNATE

A loud snarl tore throughout the cave and the wolf leaped at the man. The woman droped her flashlight and the glass shattered, flinging a couple shards shooting into my arm. His snarles were joined by two others. I stood up, feeling my way to the wall. Suddenly I felt a hand on the back of my head and was pushed into the wall. The sharp stone of the cave sliced small groves in my face.
"Did you miss me?" His voice was beautiful. Melodic and deep. It terrified me. I reacted instinctually and convulsed, trying to throw him off of me. He pressed me harder into the wall, placing a hand between my shoulder blades. I held back a cry as the skin under his hand caught on fire. It spread to my heart. Suddenly I couldn't breath, but I was calm. It was so peaceful...no noise besides my breathing and his. "You are special. Unique," he told me. "You have a power that I want. Come with me and live." Yes, I should go with him. There's nothing for me here. His voice was compelling me. Drawing me closer. Every thing is fine. Everything is perfect.
I was suddenly flung across the floor and smothered in wet fur. The wolf crouched on top of me and I froze. The man laughed, his voice cruel and biteing. "She is mine. She will come for me." After a few minutes of silence, he shifted letting precious air into my lungs. I layed there for a moment thinking about what had happend. The area between my shoulder blades slowly stoped buring and i pushed, nudging the wolf off of me completely. I sat up, clenching my teeth against the new ache's that ran up my spine. the wolf came up beside me and licked the rivlets of blood that ran off my face. It stung, but i just sat there. He eventually stoped and we sat there in silence till sunrise.
As the first weak rays of light hit my face, I slowly woke from my light sleep. I was leaning up agianst the wolf. I sat up, wrinkiling my nose at his stench. He was covered in blood, but i was glad to see most of it wasn't his own. The colar was slightly riped out of his neck, reviling an inch long strand of wire. I got up suddenlly, walked out side and washed most of the dirt and blood off. i walked back into the cave and knelt by my bag, pulling out a shirt, a pair of sissors, and a water bottle. "Its time to get that thing out of your neck."
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I worked for three hours, cutting and pulling the wire till I had a pile of them beside me. He had been calm and only growled when I was rough. I poured the bottle of water over his neck, washing away the old and new blood. I used the shirt to clean it the best I could and only moments after I sat back to inspect my work, he took off. It suprised me so mush I lost my balance and fell backword.
"Of course he left. Don't be so disappionted" I said to myslelf. I sighed. It was no use. I didn;t want him to leave. I should just be glad he didn't eat me. I stand winceing as my muscles stretch. I staart gathering up my stuff and set out for the crick with both my bags, one over each shoulder

chapter 4 (name suggestions?)

      The next day I woke up and got us both water, then basked in the sun for a few minutes. Soon you'll be able to do this, too. I grabbed my bag and the bottles of water, drenching one of my shirts. I walked up to the wolf and said. "Don't eat me."

     I had decided to take a chance.

     I stood beside him and poured an entire bottle of water over his neck, clearing away most of the blood so I could get a better look. During his fight the grotesque collar had been partially torn out of it. It makes my job easier but it must hurt like hell. After I had gotten a good look I kneeled down and got a pair of scissors from my bag.

     "I'm gonna cut the wires and pull them out." I told him. Like he could understand me. "Now hold still." I slipped the scissors under the wire as gently as I could then closed them hard. the wire cut and he growled, but didn't stop. I made another cut, then pulled the inch long piece of wire out of his skin. I tried to be quick about it and he whipped his head around and snapped his jaws a few inches in front of my face. As he slowly lowered his head, and the rest of his body to the ground, i dropped the wire and said, "One down, fifty more to go."

      I took a couple breaks to get water and rest my hands. It hurt holding those tiny scissors for so long. He must be in some serious agony. I thought. Even though he hadn't snapped at me again, he would still growl and bear his teeth when I got to the stubborn pieces.

     And that's how I spent my day.

     After all of the wire was out, I decided to wait till morning to take the chain off his neck. His temper was getting shorter and shorter. I didn't think he could take much more. So after we woke, I got us both water and basked in the sun. After a while i got up and walked back to where he was sitting and gazing at nothing.

     "The moment of truth." I said walking up to him. After going over it over and over in my head, I had figured that the best way to take the collar off was to just simply pull it over his head. It would come off fast and that would be easiest for me, but that would also put me in closer to his massive jaws which I was not too happy about. I walked up to him and he looked at me solemnly with his strange eyes, like he knew what was coming and how much it was going to suck.

      I tried not to shake as I reached around his head, grabbing the chain with nervous fingers. "Up'n at 'em." i muttered as I lifted it and pulled it over his head. At first i didn't think it would work, then he stepped back and....he was free. We stood and stared at each other for a moment, then he practically tackled me in his rush to get out of the cave. I sat up, slightly dazed.

     "Damn it." I said putting my hand up to my head. "You could've at least warned me!" I yelled after him. I was mad. Not just because he had given me my fourth head wound in the past week, but because he had left. I knew it was stupid to think, to hope, that he would stay but i couldn't help it.  "Stupid ungrateful mutt." I growled as I stood up.

    I put my scissors in my bag and kicked the rags into a dirty pile. They were sloppy wet and leaked pale pink from his blood. "you welcome." I said slightly sarcastically toward the front of the cave.

I waited a few minutes, secretly hoping that he would come back up as i was slowly gathering up my stuff. Dusting off my bags and checking that everything was there. Quit being so petty. he's a wild animal, not pet. I thought glumly.

      I grabbed my bags and bottles and headed down to the crick to refill them. I packed them in my bag and rinsed off my face in the water. It raised goose bumps on my skin and numbed my fingers. Closing my eyes i listened to the sounds of nature. the birds in the trees, the sounds of bugs and wind and the gurgle of the stream. I looked up and saw a giant pair of red flecked eyes looking back at me.

      "Well, hello."

      He just stared at me as I thought. If you eat me now I will haunt you for the rest of your miserable life, backstabber. He lowered his head and started drinking. "And here I thought you had left." I said to him in an amused voice. I sat back and watched him.
   His fur was dripping, but not with blood. He had rinsed himself off in the crick and  he looked a lot better for it. The only downside was that the water made his hair sick to him which in turn, made it easier to see his ribs. He really needed a good meal. My stomach growled.
"But then again, so do I." I mused aloud. He looked up at me curiously, water dripping from his muscle. I laughed.
    And so began our awkward friendship.

chapter 3 (still no name)

     The next couple days I spent my time pacing the cave, exploring outside and sleeping. There wasn't much to eat besides berries and the nights were cold, but I dealt. it would be worth it to finally meet the bastards who chained him up in this hellhole.
     The cave was near the top of a steep incline and at the bottom, there was a crick. It wasn't very wide but it was deep, rising up to my waste. It was my third day here and i smelled rank and was cover in dust from head to toe. I rinsed my clothes the best I could and lay down on the grass letting the sun dry me. It was nice. Basking in the sun, listening to the sounds of nature and relaxing in what felt like the first time in a long time. I sighed.

  I still had no idea where i was or how I'd gotten here. My memory is completely blank starting....when? I remember....walking......in the woods.

Yeah, that helped. Now I have a headache.

I opened my mouth wide in a yawn and gaged. Choking I spit over and over, trying to get rid of the taste of the bug I had just swallowed. Disgusting.  I ran my hand over my close cropped hair and had to untangle my fingers from the knots. It was a lost cause. There was no way I could get those mats out without a boat load of conditioner and some warm water. I stood and made my way back up into the cave. When I walked in I tried not to wince as he crunched on the bones of a small animal that was stupid enough to wander to close.We had an agreement, my wolf friend and I. I water him then let him be and he doesn't eat me while I stay in the cave.

    I walk to the back wall and inspect the metal plate that the chain was latched on to. The rock around it was covered in deep gouges from his claws, but the plate somehow survived the assault with only a few scratches. What I really wanted was to take a look at that demon collar around his neck, but I didn't dare get close enough to touch him. If his claws could do that to solid rock I'd hate to see what they could do to soft, pliable, flesh and blood animals like, well, me for example. I kneeled down and rested my head against the wall. The cold bite and the sharp edges of the stone were strangely reassuring. A light breeze blew into the cave and I started shivering. Jumping into the crick fully clothed defiantly wasn't my best idea. I curl up with my head on my arm and close my eyes. The scraping of his chain on the floor and the soft padding of his paws grow louder as he gets closer. I clench my teeth to keep them from chattering, and not from the cold.  He lays down in front of me, blocking most of the light from the cave mouth, and the wind that came in with it. I couldn't help but relax. It almost seemed as if he was protecting me from the wind. It was a stupid thought, but the idea of him sleeping did reassure me a little. He most likely wouldn't eat me in his sleep. No accounting for his dreams though.  I smiled at the thought of the brutes paws twitching in his sleep. Although, considering the prey......my smiled disappeared. His soft breathing and mossy smell drifted over me and I silently thanked him, drifting off into a deep sleep.

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I covered my ears, trying to block the loud rumbling that was echoing through the cave.

 I can't even sleep in while I'm stuck in the middle of freaking nowhere. How is that fare? I opened my eyes and was blinded by two bight circles then was plunged back into darkness with small glowing orbs coloring my vision. I blinked rapidly and sat up, trying to get my night vision back. The rumbling from before turned out to be my wolf buddy, who was currently crouching down and snarling threateningly at the lights. I squinted and saw that they were held by to people, a small woman and an extremely large man.

  "Now, now," crooned the woman in a delicate voice that had a down south feel to it,"is that any way to treat a guest?" A chill ran up my spine. "Just because you look like an animal doesn't mean you have to act like one."

  "He's just doin' it to get on your nerves." The man chimed in, " He didn't even eat the treat we got him, and she did smell so good. If your not gonna eat her, then let me have a bite." He took another step towards us and the wolf sidestepped so he was directly in front of me. Wait. Your going to protect me? I crouched on the balls of my feet waiting for them to make a move. no way were they going to catch me by surprise again. I only saw two people, so that was good.

  " Don't talk like that, you don't know what diseases you could catch from that, that thing. She doesn't even look human anymore." The woman huffed. I could practically feel the glare she shot at me burning holes in my skin.

  "What's the point of bringing you live meat if you're not going to eat her?" he said completely ignoring her. He sounded amused.

  "He's probably been turned to long, first refusing our gift then treating us so rudely.I'm sure the man in him has more class."

 "Man? He's still a cub yet."

As they bantered back and forth they slowly spread out, blocking any means of escape for me. I rose to my feet, securing my mask of board annoyance so they wouldn't see my fear. these people had tied him up in here, starved him half to death, then tried to feed me to him. Pissed didn't quite seem to cover what I was feeling at the moment. Blood pounded in my ears and I started to shake, my hands clenching into fists.

 "Who the hell are you?" My voice came out with more ice in it then I had expected.

The woman smiled and said," Why darlin', we're the executioners."

That's when all hell broke loose.

 The wolf leaped at them and their flashlights dropped to the ground, shattering and blanking out. All around me were snarls. I couldn't see at all and they were getting closer. I slowly backed up, feeling my way back towards the wall. When my back hit something solid, I froze. It was definitely not stone.

"Calm down." said a smooth voice. "I won't hurt you." His hands settled on my waste and I shivered. there was something about him. Something disturbing. I didn't want to stick around to find out what. Simioutaniouly I stomped down with my foot and elbowed him in the ribs as I pulled away from him. He snarled and threw me into the ground where I rolled till i hit the wall. He grabbed me by the neck and shoved me face first into the wall, one hand inbetween my shoulder blades. I struggled at first. but then I heard his voice. So calming. So gental.

"It's alright. Your safe. Come with me, be strong and loved and mine." I wanted to go with him. If I went with him I would be strong. I would be free and powerful. Respected. Of course I would go with him. There was nothing but him. Nothing at all but him and me and peace.

Suddenly I'm jerked and thrown. I hit the ground and am smothered in a mass of wet, hot fur. I struggle at first, trying to push it off of me, but the sound that comes from him stops me cold. I's so still, I don't even chance breathing. My head and face hurt, even more now than before, and I have a new ache. A burning sensation in the middle of my back.

The man from before says, "She will seek us out. She will be mine." His voice is cold now, with none of the gental strength it held before. I shiver. H sounded....pleased. After what seemed like an eternity, the wolf slowly raised himself off of me, sniffing the air. I took a breath, and tried not to choke on the hiar and wet dog smell.

 He backed off of me and sat down on the ground licking his wounds. The light of morning was just starting to illuminate the cave, enough that i could see it was covered in blood. He was,too.

I sat beside the wolf and watched the sun rise.

"We have got to get out of here."

chapter 2

  
Throb. Throb. Throb. "Uuuung." My head. What happened to my head? Dirt and pebbles cling to my face as I try to lift it. My neck protests, sending a stab of pain through my shoulders. I force my eyes open, squinting into the darkness. The soft patter of rain outside makes me realize how dry my mouth is.
    Wait. OUTSIDE! I look around, panicking inside my head, but I can't see anything. Cold air on my face at least gives me a clue to where the exit is while raising goosebumps on my skin. I drag my arms up away from my sides and place my hands beside my head. I try pushing my self up from the floor, but fail miserably. my arms have been replaced with over cooked noodles. I carefully lift one of my hands and run it over my head, feeling for the source of the ache. My hand catches in a small knot that has formed in the tiny, inch long, coils that cover my head and I hissed. There. I fingered the tender spot on my scalp.
   How can something the size of a quarter, cause me so much pain? I run my hand over the rest of my head and find another sensitive area"Ouuuch." It's on my hair line, right above my left temple. I stretch on the floor, releasing some of the tension in my muscles. I don't hear anything so I'm probably alone. For now. I role over and slowly prop myself up into a semi-sitting position. 
      I can see the stone that makes up the walls and the slightly lighter darkness to my right, so I'm guessing that I'm in a cave. After I prepare my self, I try to stand up and stop mid groan. I'm not ready for that. I slowly return to the floor with short, choppy movements. Almost as soon as I sit down, a low growl echos throughout the cave.  I had no idea were it came from. I slowly slide back, sending what I hope were calming thoughts. I'm just gonna sit hear and be quite. Don't eat me, please. I taste nothing like chicken. No need to investigate, just stay where you are. I'm sitting up against the wall now, still rambling on in my head. Go to sleeeep. Go to sleeeep. Please don't eat me, I'm sorry.  I hear a huff and abruptly shut my mind up. My head wound must be making me a little punch-drunk. Trying to calm my self, I take deep breaths. My heartbeat finally slows, and I relax into the wall. I sat there dozing off and on, listening to the rain pelt the leaves for what seemed like hours.

   FLASH. BABOOOOM! A clap of lightning, followed by a crack of thunder woke me from my daze, lighting up the cave and momentarily disorienting me.  I hadn't notice how the rain was pounding outside. I rub my hand across my face, brushing off any leftover dirt and clearing my eyes. I sat, looking at the back of the cave, waiting for the next lightning bolt, determined to see what, exactly, I was rooming with. My head felt a little clearer now and I was chilly and sore all over, but at least in here it was dry.

      I was glad for my cave.  Correction.I thought. This is most likely their cave, whatever it is. I'm the intruder here.  Another flash of lightning lights the cave and I hurriedly look back the the animal, but the light is gone before my head swivles halfway around. Great. I missed my chance to see it because of my daydreaming. Damn.

     Listening, I try to hear something, anything to warn me if the creature is approaching. Nothing, the storm drwns out all other niose. I stare back into the darkness. I'm not missing it this time. another flash and, just for a second, I see it. A lump of dark fur, about fifteen feet away from where I sat. A large lump. I clamp down on the hysteria that rises in my chest. Just because it's big, doesn't mean it plans to eat me. I sit, staring at the darkness hoping for another glimpse. It doesn't come.  Is it a bear? A wild dog? A deer? No, a deer doesn't growl like that. A coyote? to small. A wolf, maybe? But don't wolves that travel in packs? Is he hurt? Are they coming back for him? A sense of dread covered my body like a smothering blanket. I don't want to die being eaten by wolves. Or a bear. I'm only sixteen. I sneeze.  Sitting in a cave, catching pneumonia wasn't how I thought i would be spending my summer vacation.

    You might not know this, but waiting for your possibly imminent death can be quite boring at times. Outside, the sky is finally starting to light up, the blackness had turned gray. The only sounds I could hear were the soft drops of leftover rain falling from the trees, and the mixed breathing of me and my fellow cave dweller.  As the sun rose higher, the shadow of my cave-mate became more defined. I could see the rise and fall of his body as he breathed. I'd dubbed him he because calling him it just seemed wrong and he seemed kind of masculine to me. I wasn't going to name him though. The last thing I needed was to get attached to something that might eat me. I started counting his breaths, for lack of anything better to do.

    Breath in. One, two, three, four, five. Breath out. One, two, three, four, five.Breath in, on and on until i started breathing with him. Then I started making up games to entertain myself. Breathing in when he breathed out, holding my breath for five of his, and other stuff like that. the sun inched up further in the sky. I could now see the color of his fur. It was dark brown, and covered in dust, giving it a grayish cast. Breath in. One, two, three. 

   I stopped counting.

   He shifted and raise his head, a yawn revealing a mouthful of large sharp teeth connected to a wolfish muzzle. Nope. Definitely not a deer. He lifted his head higher and pulled his lips back in what looked like to be a grimace.

   A scraping sound caught my attention. On the ground near his feet was the biggest chain I had ever seen. One end connecting to the the back wall of the cave by metal plate, the other end fastening around his neck with a large dead bolt. It looked like it had grown into his skin. It hurt just seeing it. I saw his body stiffen and he turned toward me, slowly getting to his feet. A low rumble came from him and seemed to rattle the cave. His hackles were raised and....he was huge. I've never seen an actual wolf, but he was way bigger than any dog I've ever come across. He padded closer to me, watching through weary, narrowed eyes. Eyes, by the way, that were the most amazing color I've ever seen. A deep brownish-red color with lighter flecks of brow in them. I was mesmerised. (He is a he by the way, just something I noticed)

    The chain scraped the ground as he moved. He was beautiful. Even in as much pain as I knew he had to be in, he moved with the grace and sureness that all predators possess. He was gorgeous. He was deadly. I could  get away, if I bolted now. I doubted his chain would reach the mouth of the cave. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't.

    I wasn't willing to risk my life on pretty sure.

    It would be safer to stay put. They wont chaise if you don't run. One of the first lessons I ever learned. I wonder if I worked on wild animals the same way it worked on guys. I can only hope, since that's my only plan. He was ten feet away now. My heart thudded in my chest. Five feet. I stopped breathing. He was now standing directly in front of me, his warm breath moistening my face. he sniffed me, and I just sat there trying my best to look calm and composed. my eyes raked over him again, pausing on his neck. you know the chain I thought had grown into his neck? It hadn't. It was sewn into his skin with a skinny metal wire.  I started shaking as fury iced through my veins.  How could any one be so cruel? I looked up and met his eyes. I guess it didn't matter to him how furious i was, because he went to the other wall of the cave, directly across from me, and lay down. His chain sat lazily curved on the floor and he just....stared. It was kind of creepy

    We watched each other for a while, until I just couldn't take it any more. He could eat me for all i cared, as long as i could move.  my legs had fallen asleep along with my but and my lower back. my fingers, nose and ears were numb from the cold. I shifted so hat i was on my hands and knees and wiggled until i felt the familiar tingling that told me that my circulation had returned. His hooded eyes opened and he watched as i attempted to stand, using the wall for support.My legs seemed to have turned into rubber without me noticing. After falling for the third time I looked over at him and said,"You could help mew you know." It came out hoarse and my voice cracked at the end, but I was still relieved that I could speak more than the grunts I'd been making. His ears pricked forward, but he gave no other sign that heard me. I got the feeling that he thought my struggling was amusing. On my fifth try I finally managed to take a few wobbly steps and I was proud of myself. I had only a brused knee and a more slightly battered skull by that point.(On my first attempt my hand had slipped. I lost my balance and hit my head off the wall, landing on my knee hard. It wasn't what you would call a pretty picture.)

      I scanned the cave and noticed something bulky laying about a foot away from him. I scooted closer and realized that the its in question were my bags. I slowly made my way over to them and him.  he followed me but didn't lift his head. I took that as a good sign. When i was withing arms length of his i kneeled down and pulled them toward me. My fingers were shaking as i unzipped my pack. Please be there, please be there. I opened it and Oh thank you god. My water bottles were still in there. All thirteen of them were filled and I rushed taking the cap off, silling some, and poured water down my throat faster than I could drink it. It wasn't until I emptied the second bottle that i notice him staring. I lowered the bottle and his eyes followed it hungrily.

    I looked him over again and saw that, despite his large size, he was extremely skinny. Whoever kept him in here probably wasn't feeding him very often, if at all. I mentally kicked myself. If he wasn't getting fed then he wasn't getting water either. I rummaged through my bag until i found the cookie container that i kept all of my small trinkets in. I cleared it out, filled it with three bottles of water and pushed it tward him. After a few suspicious sniffs, he lapped it down frantically. When he was done it refilled it with two more bottles and put the empties in my pack. It was probably my imagination, but he looked a little better. His eyes a little brighter, a little more lively.

     I only had six bottles left now. I stretched out on the cave floor in the sun and rested, relishing the warmth. By the looks of things he had not been visited in a while. It seemed to me, they would be coming. Probably sooner rather than later. I just had to wait them out. Hate welled up in me. It filled me almost to my bursting point. 

     Just you wait, you bastards. When I see you I'm going to make you regret ever being born. 

chapter 1 (when I find a name i'll post it.)

    "A werewolf, a vampire and human are running through the woods." I mutter to myself, stepping over a root. Seriously. It was like a horrible Twilight nightmare. I half expected to walk into a field and see a bunch of glittering supermodels and hot bodybuilders growling at each other with their shirts off.  Hmm. That actually wouldn't be to bad, as long as none of them tried to eat me. I tripped and almost face planted on a jagger bush, snapping me out of my hormone compelled daydream and back into reality.  I wandered a little farther, swatting the misquotes that bit me every ten seconds and pulling my feet out of the mud with discusting slurp sounds.
    I had walked in to a swamp. Wonderful.  I was wandering through the woods slopping through who-knows-what filled water up to my knees and playing Miss. blood bank for a bunch of deprived insects. I had no food left, hardly any water and I no idea were I was at. Life is just peachy.
It's only been three days, I told myself, And the first two were just fine. Don't be such a wimp, grow up. I smacked my neck and heard a loud squish as I pulverized another bug. This one was a mosquito the size of my hand. I had to force myself not to shudder. It's just a bug. I thought. I need to find a lace to sleep and get out of this damn swamp.
     I stoped to look around me and noticed that the trees were denser over to my left. I hoped that meant that there was less water there so I headed tward them. A little farther and I was on dry land.  About fifteen minutes later i was standing in front of a small shack. It had one window and the door was laying on the floor, but the roof didn't look like it would leak so I should be safe if it decides to rain.  I circled around and saw that a crick ran along one side.  It seemed deep and relatively clear so i filled up my empty water bottles and put my bags in the cabin. I grabbed a change of clothes and striped down. After washing me, I washed my clothes and hung them on a branch to dry out.  Back inside the shack, I made a pillow out of my bags and lay down. My stomach started rumbling. My body was sore from the constant walking and sleeping on the ground. I relaxed into the floorboards letting my eyes drift shut.
   Compared to he place I was staying this is like a vacation, I thought.  The house was just fine but the people were sycotic. Mr. and Mrs Hope. Ironic since they were craziest couple I'd ever stayed with, and that's saying something. In my five years on my journey through the system i had stayed with druggies(my parents), prostitutes, military and religious fanatics and the 'we only want you fo your money' types.  These ones were on a whole knew level.  The first few days were OK, but after they were sure the social workers weren't  coming back the liqueur came into play. The woman would go off into drunken rages and the man would just sit and watch me when I was in his view , downimg glass after glass of Bacardi Gold. Every once and a while they would get in arguments and that is the reason I left. They were arguing about me. The kicker is that I'd only been there for about two weeks.  The woman rounded on me.
    "'M right, arn' I." she slurred at me. I looked over at her. I was just going back to my room, ignoring them the whole time."Your tryin' ta take'im away, ya lil' tramp." she grabbed my arm, her nails piercing the skin of my forearm. Her other had pulled back like she was going to slap me and I pulled my arm back and got ready to slug her, and hopefully knocking her out. The man intervened, coming up behind me and pulling me out of her grip. I now had welts and little moon shaped marks in my arm. They slowly started to bleed. She looked back and forth between us with a seriously pissed look on her face. "Your gonna get it, ya hear me, you lil slut. Jus' you wait." she grabbed the bottle of whatever she was drinking and headed down to her bedroom slamming the door. I pulled away from the man, but His arm snaked around my waste, pulling me up against him. He smelled like cheese pizza, alcohol, and cheap colone. I wanted to hurl.
  "Don't worry. She'll cool down." He said to me,"Why don't we go somewhere for a while. Just the two of us." His arm pulled me closer. I jammed my elbow into his beer gut and he let me go with an "Oof."  I quickly backed away from him putting as much distance between me and his pudgy fingers as possible. He glared at me as he tried to catch his breath.
"Hell no." I told him. I could feel my face morph into a mask of anger and disgust. "Take your offer and shove it." I put as much ice into my voice as I could. He reached out to me and I stepped back.
 "You'll see it my way sooner or later." he said, his mouth breaking into a cruel smile that chilled me down to my bones. He headed down the hall, humming the tune to I love Lucy. I had to get out of here.  I hurried back to my room and started gathering up all of my things. I opened the window to let the cool night air fill the room.  I'd wait till they were asleep then slip out the window into the woods.  I ran my fingers over the holes in the window frame. My first three nights here I spent digging nails out of the windowpane with my handy dandy, little pocket knife. I looked out the window to the trees lining the backyard. They lived out in the middle of nowhere. At 12:30p.m. I crawled out the window, thankful that they lived in a one story house. Theres nothing but farmland for miles down the road so I headed for the trees. School didn't start until September. I left that place and hopefully would never go back.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I woke up just as the sun was setting and got my clothes off the tree. My stomach suddenly went into spasms. "I need fooooood." I groaned. Since I have nothing else to do, I guess I'll go in search of fruit or berries. I thought. Uuhg, I feel like I should be filming my conquest for dinner. I wonder if there are any Dunkin Donuts near by.  Ifollow the crick so I can find my way back to the shack if need be, but I brought my bags in case I couldn't. There was a nice breeze and the sun shining through the trees made them seem sureal. The murmur of the water over the rocks made me feel like taking another nap.  A yawn forced my mouth open and birds shot out of the trees. Must have startled them.The light is almost gone.I thought.  I should probably head back.
Then........nothing.

My book- Intro

"A werewolf, a vampire and a human are running through a forest"
   What? Already heard this one?
   I know what your doing. I've been there.  Your wondering"Why should i read this? How is this book any differnent from the others?" The answer is simple. It contains moi. This isn't your run-of-the-mill girl meets Mystical creature, Girl and mystical creature fall in love, disaster seperateds mystical creature and girl, Problem solved by girl and Mystical creature, Mystical creature and girl reunite and they all live happily ever after type book. This is real.  But go ahead. Put it down, I don't care.  You don't need to know these things anyway, and not to be rood, but this is more excitement than you would ever be able to handle. Don't belive me? Go ahead, give it a try. Lets see if you get past the first three chapters.  
Trust me. My story will blow your mind.
~Cora Nefeli Muri